Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
