Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
