She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
