idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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