how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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