I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
