U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
