What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
