i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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