OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
