you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize