How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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