He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
