some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize