we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
