I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
