what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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