the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
