when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
