ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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