in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
