pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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