Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
