she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you didnt know i had herpes?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
