The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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