My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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