At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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