These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
