i don't like sucking hair
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
