Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
