Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize