ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
