he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
