I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
