My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I want a musical about memes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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