Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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