Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
