beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
