bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
