Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
they need to just BURY HIM!
she told me i tasted like america
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
