He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
