he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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