Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
