Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
