with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
soo... how was my night?
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