you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
