Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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