so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize