guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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