what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
why do cheetos always look like penises
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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