I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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