dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
