you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
