I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize