Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
