Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
