He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
