You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the day after is always just damage control
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
