Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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