Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
