Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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