I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
