She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
