In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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