im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
