Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
