After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
