Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
