New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
