I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
wow bdsm is so cute
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